


Not What I Expected, But What I Hoped For

by xswestallen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry is an emotional roller coaster, F/M, Fluff, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xswestallen/pseuds/xswestallen
Summary: Barry and Iris reflect on the past few years. When Barry worries that his powers will prevent Iris from having a normal, safe life, she assures him that she wouldn't have it any other way.





	Not What I Expected, But What I Hoped For

**Author's Note:**

> I got an anon request for this on tumblr.

Barry and Iris were the only ones left in the cortex at the end of the day. Iris typing in a keyboard to log some information about a reported meta sighting echoed throughout the otherwise silent space. Barry sat across the room, watching her work with a sleepy smile on his face. Eventually, Iris felt his eyes on her and paused her typing to smirk at him.

"What?"

Barry shrugged. "Nothin'." His cheeks flushed. It was an old reflex from the days before he and Iris were together, when he had to feel embarrassed being caught in the act of admiring her.

Iris abandoned her work and pranced over to Barry. She pulled his chair away from his desk and looked down at him. "I know that look. It's not nothin'." The position gave Barry the perfect view of Iris's cleavage. She got on the chair, putting her knees on either side of his legs, but didn't sit down on his lap. She forced him to look her in the eye by tilting his chin up with one finger. "That's your daydreaming look."

"Mmm hmm." Barry hummed. She was right.

Iris batted her eyes and pouted her lips. "What were you daydreaming about?"

"You." Barry breathed. "Always you."

"Why daydream when I'm right here and we can make it reality?"

Barry put his hands on her back and guided her down onto his lap, she was straddling him now. Iris kissed him softly. When she tried to moved her lips away, Barry cupped her face and brought their lips back together. She moaned into it.

"I love you so much." Barry gasped in between kisses.

"I love you."

Iris tilted her head to rest it in Barry's hand. He gazed at her, transfixed by her beauty. Suddenly, it struck Barry how insane his life is. The fact that he was in S.T.A.R. Labs, with Iris, his WIFE, in his lap was surreal. It was like a scene he would've dreamed up in middle school. Barry giggled, overcome with appreciation.

Barry's laughter was contagious. Even though Iris didn't know what he found funny, she started giggling too. "What?"

"My life!" Barry said, as if that would be a sufficient explanation.

Iris stared at him. "Yeah?"

Barry was surprised she didn't get it. "My life!" He repeated. "How did it turn out like this?"

Iris winced. She was worried now, was Barry unhappy? Was he having some kind of quarter life crisis?

The concern on her face prompted Barry to say, "I mean that in a good way."

"How?"

"Iris, my real life is better than every daydream I've ever had. I spent so long feeling sorry for myself. But, now I'm the happiest I've ever been. If somebody would've told 10 year old me that one day I would get to spend every day at S.T.A.R. Labs working with Harrison Wells who, bonus, is from another dimension, that I would have super powers and save the city on a regular basis, and that I'd be married to you...... I think 10 year old me would spontaneously combust. It would be too good to imagine."

Iris was smiling now. It made her happy to see her husband so happy. "Well, don't get any ideas about going back in time and telling 10 year old you about this."

"I'm serious. Working with my idol, having amazing friends, running faster than the speed of sound, it's the kind of thing kids dream about. But even at a young age, you know it's unrealistic. To have it actually happen? It's like living in a daydream. I still can't believe I'm this lucky." 

His eyes lit up as he spoke. Iris always found it endearing how Barry can go on and on about something that excites him. His enthusiasm was so intense that it could make even the most boring of subjects seem interesting to her.

"I'm a superhero!" Barry laughed after saying it. "That's so cool!"

Iris put her hands over her mouth and laughed. She looked so cute. Barry felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He licked his lips, searching for the words to describe his gratitude for being her husband.

"Iris, as unbelievable as so much of my life is, being married to you is the part that amazes me the most. No scientific facility or super speed could make my life as incredible as you do. Holding you, kissing you, loving you, it's the best thing that I get to do. You make my life better than I thought it ever could be."

Tears of joy welled up in Iris's eyes. She hugged Barry tight and kissed his neck. 

"You make my life wonderful, Bear. My wildest dreams couldn't have prepared me for just how wild our life is." Iris said with a smile. But, her words halted Barry's thoughts of astonishment with his life. They were replaced by worry and guilt.

Iris felt his respirations slow. She thought it was because he was relaxing. Until, a tear landed on her face. She looked and saw that Barry was now crying, and it wasn't tears of joy.

"I'm so sorry, Iris." He whimpered.

"Baby, why are you crying?"

"I've been bragging about how great my life is and I forgot about what it means for you."

Iris furrowed her brows. "What it means for me?"

Barry nodded. "My being The Flash has put you in danger more than once. It's added enemies and turmoil to your life. I'm selfish for being with you."

Iris was shocked by what he was saying.

"I'm so desperate to be with you because you make me so happy, that I haven't put you're best interest first. I'm sorry."

"Barry," Iris gasped. "There is nothing to be sorry for."

"Because of me you've had to put up with bad guys kidnapping you, breaking into our home, almost killing you! On multiple occasions!" Barry was really upset. "And what about all the nonlethal problems I've caused you. Having to run out and stop a robbery on our first date and our second date? Nazis from another Earth ruining our wedding, after you worked so hard planning it and making it beautiful? The fear of who's going to come after us next, because we know it's a matter of when not if? That's all my fault. Iris, you deserve better than that. I'm sorry I can't give you the safe, uninterrupted, happy life you deserve."

Iris pulled Barry into a hug. Hearing him apologize for being in her life was like a dagger to the heart. "Barry, I can't imagine my life without you. I love you!" She cried. "I love you more than anything. You've given me the best life possible. I'm so happy."

"I should have never become The Flash." Barry sighed. "If nobody knew about my powers than nobody would try to come after us. We could live a normal life."

"Barry, you've saved countless lives. If it weren't for The Flash this city would be in shambles. I know you couldn't sit back and watch while meta after meta hurt people. That's what I love most about you, Bear, you're heart. You are a true hero, always willing to do whatever you can to help people." Iris told him.

"But, you can't say this is the life you were expecting or hoping for?"

Iris thought about it for a second. "Our lives are not what I expected, but they are what I hoped for."

Barry looked at her curiously. "Why did you hope for this?"

"Because we're together, we're helping people, and we're happy. That's all I ever wanted."

Barry nodded in agreement. 

"Do you think that I just blindly follow you?" Iris asked in concern.

"No, of course not."

"Then you should realize that I made the decision to be with you. This life, chaotic and scary as it can be, is the life I chose. Standing beside you as your partner, your best friend, and your wife is the best life I could've hoped for."

Barry kissed her. It was slow and tender. He wanted to convey how much it meant to him that Iris was beside him.


End file.
